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How long will it take before your wife remarries after your death?

Sex, greed, dishonesty, lies,superstitions.........DEATH

We got to talking of difficult situations arising out of children's' behaviour. My colleague, Panks, narrated a (horror) story. On accompanying his father to a family bereavement, this child asked as a matter of fact what happened. On getting an answer that grandpa's younger brother died, he shouted in the presence of the whole group "That's not right. Grandpa is older and should have been dead first."

Normal outcome - shut the child by hook or crook (a spank here and there), shut the mouth with one hand, lift with another and evacuate faster than hurricane evacuation.

On another occassion, I was chatting with my South African boss during a long journey in the serene mountainous drive through the Scottish Highlands and the discussion arrived at Indian culture and social behaviour. As usual, provoking is the name of the game in such scenarios. He got on to the journey of testing my limits of mental tolerance. It started with digs on my being a vegetarian to why is alchohol sinful to why arranged marriages and why not live-in relationships. I was being stretched like a rubber band. When would I snap?

It had to happen sooner or later. It happened when he hurled the ultimate blow : How long will it take before your wife remarries after your death?

I was in a tizzy. Anger, disbelief, ridicule, impossible, ....... BLOCKED MIND. I blanked out with the tornado of thoughts all taking me to an intoxication levels never ever experienced by me earlier even with the best or the worst intoxicant........

He could not have missed it. I could see his lips moving, must be faking as there was no sound. Serene mountains looked like "Yamdoots" to me. Evening time reminded me on "Godhuli" and not sundowner of Scotland.

Next 90 minutes of journey was like an eternity.

Mind you I was not a kid - all of 35, senior executive, globally travelled, open minded, (well) read.....

I became a different person overnight and DEATH was a not a taboo any longer for me. I explore the subject with others not and I see it all around that this word exists for others (not related to self). Despite the fact newspapers are full of gory pictures of blood, dead bodies in pieces, floating in rivers, drowned bodies in floods, open eyes of a dead child in Bhopal... WE DO NOT WANT TO TALK OF DEATH in social talks.

How do safety or insurance products communicate without implying death of close ones? Ar there other taboos:

- eating meat but what about drinking Blood ( like in Africa)
- eating meat but being uncomfortable on seeking the supermarkets in Scandinavia with large eyes in the meat shelves
- donation of body parts

People turn agonisingly on such issues.

What do I do?

Not disturb the status quo. Assume I and family are immortals. What can happen to others will not happen to me/my close ones.

Unlearning is more difficult than learning.

Thank you Mr Barnard for waking me on that day in the serene mountains of Scotland.

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