Jane and I were visiting a restaurant after a long time. This place was our favourite many moons ago in Mumbai. We moved away from the city a decade ago and were visiting there again and Jane wanted to have a dinner at the same place. We reached the place and it had changed, physically. It had become more fancy and what not.
Over the dinner, we ordered a local dish that we used to fancy. It arrived and then the nostalgia took over and we got talking about the old times.
After the meal, I commented that the meal was not as good as it used to be. Jane looked at me and kind said nothing though I could see that words were on her lips....
Later in the day, she asked me why I did not find the food as good as earlier and I gave a long list of reasons.
She said that she found the food to be same as before and in fact enjoyed it thoroughly.
It got me thinking! Why is it that my experience was different from hers? Who is right - she or me?
I slept and dreamt of the whole episode. And the next morning, my thoughts were still on the same meal.
And then, eureka......
I realised that my metrics for evaluation had changed. I was measuring the goodness of the meal with a different yardstick than the previous experience. Jane, on the other hand, measured the food with the same yardstick.
Do we do this often? My relationships, interactions are all a function of the metric used. Do I use the different metric to reach a different consclusion? If yes, does it not create a level of unhappiness?
Do we do same with friends, colleagues, bosses, subordinates, relatives, government, society?
And then claim, others have changed........
Over the dinner, we ordered a local dish that we used to fancy. It arrived and then the nostalgia took over and we got talking about the old times.
After the meal, I commented that the meal was not as good as it used to be. Jane looked at me and kind said nothing though I could see that words were on her lips....
Later in the day, she asked me why I did not find the food as good as earlier and I gave a long list of reasons.
She said that she found the food to be same as before and in fact enjoyed it thoroughly.
It got me thinking! Why is it that my experience was different from hers? Who is right - she or me?
I slept and dreamt of the whole episode. And the next morning, my thoughts were still on the same meal.
And then, eureka......
I realised that my metrics for evaluation had changed. I was measuring the goodness of the meal with a different yardstick than the previous experience. Jane, on the other hand, measured the food with the same yardstick.
Do we do this often? My relationships, interactions are all a function of the metric used. Do I use the different metric to reach a different consclusion? If yes, does it not create a level of unhappiness?
Do we do same with friends, colleagues, bosses, subordinates, relatives, government, society?
And then claim, others have changed........
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